I am a hopeless, mad girl. Believe me, when I say that. Convinced, already? No?
Is it not mad to love a person so much that it destroys every ounce of your sanity? My senses do not function normally. Why do I say that? Because I have loved a person to an insane point where there was only destruction, waiting to engulf me. His fire of indifference, burned every part of me. I loved the way he consumed me, and cherish myself, because he has been so passionate towards me.
He used to get close to me, hypnotising my soul, and tell me that I was his only one. I know he wasn’t lying. I was truly the only one whom he loved to afflict with excruciating pain. The only one whom he loved to see, begging for few drops of his love. Why would I not love such a loyal man?
I used to draw rebuke from him, each time I told him that I had missed him all day long, and wanted him to talk to me. But it wasn’t his mistake, there’s nothing wrong in not wanting to talk to anyone after an exhausting day, so what, if I just wanted a few minutes, to share his load over a cup of coffee. I understand. Anyway, he always used to make up for that, at night, by proving his manliness in a closed room. Why would I not love such a considerate man?
Each time, when his phone went busy at 11 pm, he used to clarify that it was his boss dictating him some work for the next day. So what, if he told this even on Saturday nights. I believed him, he surely wasn’t lying. Why would I not love such a professional man?
He cannot be blamed for not being there with me when I went through those 3 am-anxiety-attacks. After all, he had duties to fulfill, he was busy in a meeting with a client. Although, I still wonder why those meetings used to take place after midnight, in a hotel room. But he must be having his reasons, afterall work comes prior. Why would I not love such a dedicated man?
I know he wasn’t wrong when he left me. I gave him enough reasons to do so. He told me that my love was suffocating him, he couldn’t take more of it, and that I should understand. I do understand. Why would I not love such a veracious man?
He was epitome of perfection. Maybe it was my mistake, I couldn’t ever love him right.
I hope you all believe me now, I am just a hopeless, mad girl, burning in the never-ending fire of his unearthly love.
© Naina khare.